Their Last Chance

This blog is dedicated to finding families for kids who are running out of time. Every child listed on here will lose their chance for a forever family within one year.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Older Child Adoption - Cautions and Concerns

The discussion on the internet right now about Older Child Adoption is centering around this article

As the adoptive mom to 2 older (10 and 14 at adoption) healthy boys, I feel I have a bit of experience in this area.

I actually know the "Sue Matheson" and "Debbie" referenced in the article and at least parts of their stories. I was very suspicious of the true age of some "aging out" kids that were adopted from Louyang from the moment I saw their pictures on their familys' blogs. I am not surprised at these revelations.

However, what concerns me is that Mr. Stuy seems to almost be implying that ALL healthy older kids come from suspect backgrounds and this is what disturbs me.

The truth is almost ALL of our kids from China have living birth families. That part is no different.

The truth is most birth families have NO IDEA that their children will be adopted out internationally when they choose to hand their children over to an orphanage (whether directly or via abandonment). I am basing this on reports from families that have made contact with birth families in China.

The truth is the Chinese culture is VERY different from our own. While most Americans would NEVER consider abandoning our child or handing them over to governmental officials for "an education", the Chinese mindset is different.

The truth is many files have bogus/made-up/false information in them. Just ask any adoptive parent of a Chinese child. I have heard this over and over in the six years I've been a part of this community.

The truth is that these kids deserve to be in a family and not growing up in an institution. Regardless of how they got there. Yes, it would be best if they could grow up in their birth family, but for the vast majority of kids who are in Chinese (and other countries' orphanages), that is simply not a viable

The truth is there will always be corruption/shady dealings in any encounter that involves people. We are all human and humans sin.

As Christians and concerned parents, we should speak out about the corruption.  However, we must be careful that we don't throw out the proverbial (and in this case literal) baby with the bathwater.  Just as the Hunan baby trafficking scandal shut down adoptions from Hunan for a while, I believe that adoptions from Luoyang should be suspended.  I believe that a broader investigation should ensue and any other CWIs that are involved should also be suspended. 

What I DON'T want to happen is for ALL Chinese adoptions to be stopped. And I don't want even MORE paperwork that is mostly useless to make the process even longer (aka Hague).  That would be a huge disservice to the thousands of children who are truly available for adoption.  They NEED a family and the sooner the better. 

Let's not forget that this is truly all about the child. We as parents (and prospective adoptive parents) must do our research and follow our hearts and God's leading as we consider each child. Please don't let such stories about one part of adoption deter you from giving a child what they need and deserve.

P.S. There are similar "horror stories" about pregnancy and childbirth, yet very few people would choose not to get pregnant just because something "might" happen. If we had concrete proof or many indicators (like a genetically passed-down disease), then yes, we would take that into consideration. Adoption should be no different.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness! I so hope people take heed to what you have written! I guess I'm speechless...just thinking of how this could affect the children who NEED HOMES!